martes, 24 de julio de 2007

La cábala del arquero

Es una necesidad, casi un capricho. Pero el sábado a la noche resulta una prueba de rigor para cada jugador del Deutsche Bank. Es primordial no dejar ningún detalle librado al azar. El domingo ya suele ser tarde.
-Vieja, ¿dónde mierda me dejaste las medias de Los Andes?
-Las tiré. Es que parecías un linyera con esas medias todas rotas. Te compré unas nuevas. No importa que sean de Temperley, ¿no?
Una madre lo es todo para un hijo. Pero su amor incondicional muchas veces le impide comprender las reglas básicas de un futbolista. Sin tomar conciencia de la gravedad de algunos de sus procedimientos, lastima. Y con fuerza.
-¿Me estás jodiendo? Esas medias eran cábala. La puta que me parió. Y Ahora qué mierda hago, qué hago.
Nadie creería que aquellas medias, reparadas con cinta una y otra vez, le otorgan poderes. Pero quién se animaría a aseverar que esas pobres prendas de vestir no lo catapultaron a la cima de la tabla de artilleros.
-Hijo dejá de revolver la bolsa de basura por favor.
Cada uno con su amuleto. Una vincha para el pelado del equipo o los mejores botines, esos que se traen de afuera, para el más limitado del Deuche.
-Perdón muchachos pero ustedes saben que sin los F58 de Nike última generación no le puedo pegar bien a la pelota.
Variadas y hasta ridículas. Muchas veces las cábalas del Deuche rozan el absurdo.
Ahí llega el Pastel después de dar una vuelta por el boliche. Sus amigos lo esperan inquietos.
-¿Cómo te fue está vez? ¿Podemos quedarnos tranquilos?
-Quedate piola. Otra vez las cábala del arquero.
Hasta tiene un nombre. No sólo resulta cómica la cábala del arquero, sino que generalmente es idolatrada. Todos se preocupan porque el sábado sucedan tres cosas: que el Pastel asista al boliche, que ella también concurra y que su muñeca esté intacta. Y otra vez el mismo interrogante ¿Quién se anima a decretar que la notable actuación del Pastel del último fin de semana no fue producto de la cábala del arquero?
Aquel sábado fue diferente. Los ingredientes estaban listo, pero algo salió mal.
-¿Alguién me puede decir que hace el Pastel sólo en la pista?
-¿No estaba con la minita?
-No, recién la vi salir con un pibe.
Nadie se animó a interrogar al Pastel. Casi desilusionados dejaron sus respectivos tragos sobre la barra y se fueron como si estuvieran de luto.
-Encima el pelotudo de Pata se fue temprano y es el único que tiene coche.
El destino fue coherente con el Pastel. Un gol el contra, uno olímpico y una roja sobre el final del partido tras pegarle a uno de sus propios compañeros.
Curiosidad o no, el Deuche ganó 3-2. Pata fue la figura del partido con el primer triplete de su existencia.
-Hijo de puta. Seguro que te clavaste una jarra de droga.
-Para nada. Me fui del boliche tempranito para poder dormir. Esa es mi cábala.

54 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Qué raro un traidor en el equipo!!!!!

Deuche dijo...

Román: me atrevería a decir que en algunos casos son necesarios. Si Pata no hubiera traicionado, el Deuche tendría hoy tres puntos menos. Saludos...

Anónimo dijo...

Deuchebank: hace poco me enganche con tus cuentos. Soy hincha de Comunicaciones y me encantaría que se escriban historias de este tipo sobre mi club. Me hacés acordar al Gordo Apo (no por los cuento sino por tu estado físico). Te felicito

Anónimo dijo...

Claramente Que Pata Rindio bien porque el q salio del boliche con la Cabala, era él no sean ingenuos por favor!!! Esa chica es un infierno!!!

Deuche dijo...

Anónimo: mmmm... advierto que usted es uno de los integrantes del glorioso Deuche Bank. Poco le creo de su fanatismo por Comunicaciones. Y sí, llevo con orgullo mi parecido a Apo. Saludos...

Marco dijo...

Tengo miedo neneeeeeeeee!!!

Anónimo dijo...

Los Amelli nunca faltan. Saludos DEUCHE

Gonzalo dijo...

Hola Deuchebank es exelente lo bueno de esto es que pude ver tu blog no lo conocia igual que vos al mio de riquelme saludos Deuchebank te voy a enlazar si te gusto el mio tambien enlazame Saludos 10 puntos

Petrusco dijo...

Deuche, agradecido como estoy luego de tu visita a mi blog de Los Cuentos Cortos y de haber podido leer estas historias casi reales con las que me he divertido full, te he dejado un reconocimiento en mi blog personal

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Muchos saludos y arriba el Deuchebank!!!

Deuche dijo...

Petrusco: me di una vuelta por tu blog y lo pude leer. Gracias por el análisis. Espero verte seguido por acá. Saludos...

Roberto Soriano dijo...

Deuche, gracias por tu comentario en "A Contrapié". Vuelve cuando quieras, serás siempre bien recibido (tus comentarios también...).

Saludos desde España.

Anónimo dijo...

Leer tu blog siermpre me arranca una risa de complicidad. Escribes my bien y haces que uno se adentre en los que nos cuentas.

Deuche dijo...

Fernando: esa risa es el mayor de los premios. Después de todo, ¿Quién no jugó alguna vez en un Deuchebank? Saludos...

Anónimo dijo...

Chan! no puedo creer ese final! donde están los códigos entre hombres! y como podés defender en tus comentarios esa actuación de traidor!!! increible!! y todo por 3 puntos... bah... aunq pensandolo bien, por ahi eran los únicos 3 puntos... q c yo, no jugué en el Deuchebank...
Besos Her, para mi siempre vas a ser mi flaquito Shaggy...puedo ser tu Scooby?

Deuche dijo...

Los códigos están, pero un partido es un partido; y tres puntos son tres puntos. Ya habrá tiempo para discutir malos entendidos. Y lamento decirle que en todo caso ahora soy su gordo Shaggy. Saludos...

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Anónimo dijo...

La gente quiere cuentos, no seas vago. Seguros estas acostado,comiendo alguna galletita de chocolate, melba tal vez mientras miras un partido de tenis. Ponete a escibir, Apo....

Deuche dijo...

Anónimo: ¿por qué querías o porque me estabas matando? Y de la cara ya que es tan valiente para golpear a una persona indefensa. Saludos...

Anónimo: en eso estoy. Mirando una derrota de Nalbandian y comiendo Chocolinas. Prometo actualizar. Saludos...

::: GørgôrøtH ::: dijo...

Che, muy bueno el cuento, es mi primer visita y me lleve una buenas sorpresa.. ahora de cábala te voy a visitar mas seguido!

en mi blog suele haber referencias futbolisticas... muy seguido jej, si le interesa esta invitado. saludos!

PD: mi última cábala es que me aten el cinturón antes de los torneos de karate... (no queda muy bien, asi que es privado.. no digan nada)

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